Boom Blox, Army of Two, and Bully.

Been playing a few different games over the past couple weeks. First is Boom Blox. This is the one I’ve probably had the most fun with. The idea behind this game is to interface with stacked Jenga style blocks in different ways. Only two of which really matter. You got the Jenga pulling mechanic where you pull out as many pieces as possible without making the stack fall. Then there’s the throw-various-types-of-balls-at-the-stack style of gameplay. Basically the game just presents you various configurations of stacked blocks and you throw the ball at it in an attempt to knock down the most blocks possible. There’s also a shooting range thingy which feels a little like holodeck phaser training, but it’s pretty much a throwaway mode.

The reason Boom Blox is fun is because of how it feels to interact with the gameplay system. Pulling pieces feels precise and realistic, which cannot be said about the actual Jenga game. There’s not much explanation needed for why chucking balls at stacks of blocks is fun. Knocking stacks of shit down is fun, obviously. The amount of inertia you exact onto the wiimote’s magical inertia detecting thingy actually matters. Strapping up is absolutely mandatory. Throw in a fleshed out co-op and competitive mode and Boom Blox equals an 8½ in my book. There are downsides, such as a lack of easily doable puzzles. The difficulty quickly ramps up to an intimidating level once you graduate to expert mode.

Also rented Army of Two since I had someone to play it with over the weekend. That didn’t go so well. The game is essentially Gears of War minus the slick graphics and gameplay. The cover system consists simply of ducking with the R3 button, or you can hit Y and slide into cover but that mostly results in leaping over the object you’re trying to take cover behind. There’s no lock-on targeting so every battle boils down to spraying bullets in the general direction of the enemies until you’ve built up enough agro for your teammate to get in behind them. The game is seething with bro love, mock guitar playing, Iraqi suicide bombers, and inappropriate fist bumping. The A button actually activates a slap-on-the-butt style props system wherein you can walk up to your partner while he’s firing at the bad guys, push A, then watch as he stops shooting, slowly turns around and rambles off something like “ladies lift your shirts!” or “props all around”. Somehow I managed to beat the game, probably because I’m a sucker for earning cash and buying shit. The fact that it’s about 4 hours long helped, too. 6/10.

The other game I’ve been playing, and thoroughly enjoying, is Bully for the 360. I missed it the first time around on the PS2 and always regretted not playing it. Turns out the game is really, really good. I’m still playing through it so I won’t give my full opinion on it yet but I will say the combat system is about 4 times better than GTAIV.

Bumbaclot!

Now that I’ve developed a spasmic kink in my neck due to the 45 hours spent playing GTA IV, my opinions on the game have ... evolved. No longer do I think the aiming mechanics are archaic/second-rate. As far as targeting specific body parts it seems pretty much on equal footing with Crackdown. Just a more rubberbanded aiming style, compared to Crackdown’s snap-on targeting. I do prefer the Crackdown interface, however. Improvements to the combat system go beyond requisite iteration, in my opinion.

I still think hand-to-hand combat sucks. Other than an unreliable block and counter system virtually nothing has changed since GTA III. CQC still bristles with offending levels of pointlessness. Outside of obtaining the “Finish Him” achievement, brawling is of no need, use, or consequence. It’s just not fun to fight. It's not like it can't be done. Consider this list of GTA clones, all of which offer better combat than GTA IV: True Crime, Spider-Man 2-3, The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, The Getaway. Fighting should be fun by now.

In other news, I’m currently playing Boom Blox. I’ve only played it briefly but the tactile sensation tucked away into its gameplay has me intrigued. Combined with the sort of tech demo-ey explosion/gravity/inertia style physics on display… I can already tell I’m going to be sinking a lot of time into it.

Looking forward to MGS4, June 12th – at which time I plan on feasting on the game velociraptor style.

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT GTAIV

GTA IV is finally out - after a six month delay, and everyone has nothing but unconditional love for the game. 6 million units sold and half a billion dollars generated in its first week since launch. Review scores are virtually bulletproof with the 360 version sitting at a 98.4% aggregate score and the PS3 version at 99%. In an attempt to counterbalance the weight of the praise being heaped onto it I present a list of 10 things I hate about Grand Theft Auto IV.

10. The fact that it’s not the revolutionary game I secretly hoped it would be.

9. The gunplay. Crackdown did it better. How does the highest rated game of all-time get away with a 7 year old shooting mechanic?

8. Hand-to-hand combat. Shenmue did it better and that game was made last millennium! Get with the program people.

7. Vehicle handling. Turning at speeds greater than 30mph inevitably results in over or undershooting your turn. Sure you’ll eventually get the hang of it but many pedestrians will pay with their lives long before that happens.

6. The non-stop media hype machine promoting it. I’m sick of hearing moneyhatted game critics proclaiming the era of true movie/game integration has finally been ushered in by way of its release. GTA IV is not The Godfather.

5. Only 15 different multiplayer game types? Whaaaa? Is that all about?! Just kidding, that’s a freakin’ lot of damn multiplayer game types, yo. But only one map.

4. Thinking of 10 things I hate about the game while simultaneously deriving incredible joy from actually playing it.

3. Less vehicles, weapons, story missions, character customization, and overall real estate (compared to San Andreas) = “everything we were entitled to expect, and ... more.”?*

*Xbox World 360

2. Open world gameplay still doesn’t allow for accurate recreation of 9/11 government conspiracy.

1. The fact that I genuinely cannot think of 10 different things I hate about it.

Attack of the Microsoft warranty

Speaking of killing… and hardware, my 360 has gone red lights of doom on me. Thankfully it was graceful enough to wait until a month past the (once extended) warranty in order to ensure that I had to choose between spending another 150+ on the sucker or go without. Thanks to this development I am now the proud owner of a working “PLAYSTATION 3” and a broken hunk of white plastic formerly known as the 360.

And to be perfectly frank, I cannot think of any compelling reasons to suggest a PLAYSTATION 3 to anyone I know. The exclusive titles are fairly mediocre at best, the lack of a centralized networking platform makes it feel incredibly isolated when held in contrast with Xbox live and the price is simply too high. As more and more exclusive titles slip away into the realm of cross-platform the PS3 looks less and less appealing to me. As of now the only exclusive title that really has my interest piqued is LittleBigPlanet – and lets be fair, that game looks straight up amazing.

Tales from the console.

After such a prolonged reprieve from posting there are only two options… explain why or pretend that no-one noticed.

I am going to give a quick rundown on three most recent gaming endeavors I have err… endeavored on.

Splinter Cell: Double Agent
This is very much a sheep of a game, it doesn’t stand out and it doesn’t improve the series in any noteworthy manner. Instead it merely offers more or less (mostly less) of the same. What’s worse is that most of the changes made in this rendition of the franchise are handled with the deft precision of a blind man playing darts. Removing the ambient noise meter and seemingly with it all semblance of ambient noise and removing the HUD are both prime examples of changes that didn’t reinforce the enjoyment derived from the game. I would call Double Agent a big step backwards for the series.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance
So this is again a game that didn’t really strive to push itself forward as original or groundbreaking, instead it follows the well tread path set by its predecessors. Unlike SC:DA, however, Marvel Ultimate Alliance has offered up some extremely enjoyable gameplay. Sure it might be the equivalent of an all grown up and “prettied up” Golden Axe but at least it manages to entertain consistently throughout. This is the gaming equivalent of an action movie, not really a lot to think about but enjoyable all the same.

And finally…

Gears of War
This game is single handedly responsible for devouring my time like a hippo devours plastic spheres. The story is nothing remarkable and even has some annoying moments that feel tacked on or forced in order to leave room for a sequel – and yet that seems completely irrelevant in light of the rest of the game. Gears of War combines the high energy and thrilling excitement that classic “run-n-gun” FPS games offer with the strategic elements that the slower, more realistic games have. Apparently the secret ingredient to making this work was divined by Epic, no doubt only through the use of arcane majiks, perhaps a Ouija board was involved. Regardless of what diabolical powers were used to achieve this unholy union the result is wholly amazing and very “next-gen”.